Anthology of Poems by Honey Jane Carvajal, SN


Anthology of Poems

by Honey Jane Carvajal, SN

ASKING HEART


Have I done something wrong?


Why do these tears keep falling on?


Am I really crying with a reason?


Or I am just trying to fit into a lifetime season?


Why does happiness is so hard to have?


Where in fact, that’s the only thing I’m wishing up above


Why can’t I find somebody to love?


Is there really somebody sent from above?


How I wish I’d find him soon


In order to keep moving on


Why can’t it happen even for once?


Even just for a single dance


How I badly dreamed to be a candle


The more you kill me the more I become real


I’m hoping even for this wish; be it granted


For my heart doesn’t know where to go and now it’s dead…


IF


If you’re not here with me


Flowers will wither and soon you’ll see


There’ll be no rainbow in the sky


There’ll be no enchanting lullabies


If I am not with you


I’ll be very weak; yeah it’s true


I can’t manage to eat nor drink


Anything I can’t do even to wink


If someday I’ll be with you


I’ll make it special coz everything I will do


Because that day will be no ordinary day


Though I know it will soon fade away


If soon you’ll be forever gone


And everything’s still left undone


Moon and stars will never shine


All I know you left me hanging in the line…


WHEN I GROW WITH YOU


Days passed, I knew this wouldn’t last


I know someday I’ll get over the past


I have to move on with my life


Even I know it cuts me like a knife


I wont deny that he’s been so special


All throughout these days, he became ideal


The man whom I dreamt since then


The man who is willing to love me till end


But all those shine and spark faded


Maybe both of us became jaded


With things we usually do together


Even though we unconsciously hurt each other


Still, I would never regret those days


Because I truly liked him in his ways


Even people tried to pull him down


I’d still hold his hand and together we’ll frown


Even if things are getting worst right now


I’d still love to remember my vow


That goes…”I will love him till days are through


For I’ll be happier when I grow with you…”


NO REGRETS


I have encountered a high breed guy


Who was once snobbish and always sighs


I have not imagined him to be a part


Of this life which he torn apart


It was never a special day


When he and I met in the way


We utter each other our “hi”


And parted ways with ordinary goodbye


But I never expected that things would fall apart


Where he and I got to be at heart


We caught ourselves laughing with things


And together we spend the day in its brightest wings


We jointly smiled within a day


And mutually frown when we’re dismay


We spent much time together


Even it looked odd with the others


But now, he left me in confusion


Where I hardly caught myself in an illusion


And thru this we ignored each other’s nest


Yet I proudly say “I have no regrets.”


WILL I LAST?


Everyday is so hard to take


People can’t stop being fake


I don’t know if I will last


But why did these appear so fast?


I can’t imagine myself struggling in such manner


I can’t believe I'm bound to suffer


How will I accept this painful fact?


Why is it really hard to act?


I can’t blame them if they really do


Such things that made me feel blue


All I know is, it must be true


Coz how would they judge without a clue


I hope this will be enough


As a payment for such an act


That someday this will pass


For I don’t know if I will last


MISTAKE


Once I felt this thing called love


But unluckily got it in a wrong one


I don’t know how did it happen


It’s just that my heart suddenly gave in


I know this love is impossible


But still I am unflappable


Still waiting, dreaming and hoping


That someday you’ll notice my feeling


‘Til now I can’t really explain


Why did these exist?


Each day and night I kept on wondering


If you’ll be the perfect prince charming


I don’t know why I’m still falling


To you-so insensitive and irritating


I think I've not get over this feeling


Coz till now it’s your love that I’m craving


MOVE!!!


Ting. Ting. Ting…


Our hearts were strongly beating


The sound where even mutes would scream


A famous ring in our biochem


We caught ourselves like in an audition


We line ourselves in the alley of the institution


We got half lengthwise papers


Where we write all our answers


Ting. Ting. Ting…


There it strikes again


It left a scar in the eardrum


Even the pens for writing are getting dumb


I guess, as I leave the institution


This will surely not be an illusion


For this is a worthy, one-of-a-kind thing


Even for others it just goes Ting…Ting…Ting!!


LOVELIFE’S WINGS


There is this thing I am about to hide


Yet it seemed so difficult and I can’t decide


I don’t exactly know what is better


Should I continue or make things over?


Why does it feel so hard to love?


Maybe because he’s not sent from above


But why does my heart tell me that he is?


Yet this could not happen even thru a kiss


I want to convince my heart not to love him


Because it is hurting deep within


My mind is set to move on and look for another


Yet my heart doesn’t stop and it really hits me harder


I can’t believe I am so unlucky


Even I know I’ve got my friends and family


What is it that lacks in me?


Yes it’s he! The one who will love me?


Since I can’t get over this feeling


I wanted to settle this heart to everything


Even I know I’m not willing to forget him


But I’d still do just to stop my wondering…


TUESDAY HABIT


Everyday in my life is so usual


But among these, there is one day special


Of all these days and ways


There s such an extraordinary grace


Tuesday is always of memories


Not simply because of that and this


It is for a reason that this day is unusual


For this can’t happen in universal


Not all people are happy in this day


But for me this will never be a day of dismay


For this day is such a wonderful day


Where I could smile and always be gay


For all those stormy days in my life


I always consider this day a happy life


Even in this day I found myself crazy in a bit


Still, I would never exchange my rare Tuesday habit


VANILLA WAFER AND SWIRLY BITZ


Each and everyone of us has its own


Styles & favorites that we have known


Everybody has it’s own likes and dislikes


But lets admit it we want everything nice


One day as I talked to him


I can’t imagine that he goes to gym


My mind smiled for such reason


That he wanted his body to be like horizon


It was fascinating to see


That he & I shared the same plea


To see God in personal


And make vanilla a flavor in universal


Still, nothing beats the similarities in us


And I feel how great it was


For now I know we share 2 things in common


That’s vanilla wafer and swirly bitz that we can’t refuse on.


IT’S REALLY OVER…


I’ve been happy with him


All those days, I never seem


I expressed my feelings al the way


Yet I still can’t help but be dismay


Every time I look at him


He seems so cute yet so mean


He always wanted to be followed


And always wanted to set the mood


Even I have done everything


Still he acts as if it was nothing


I get hurt and pain always


For God’s sake he has done it in many ways


Now, my heart is very tired


Settling things up and taking his ride


I can’t exactly say if I can recover


But my mind says that it’s really over…☹


I AM A MAN-HATER


I cried so many times


For a love that has been lost


I loved a thousand times


Thinking for no more costs


I met several guys


All were nothing but heartbreaker


I thought they’re just wise


Yet they were all idiot undercover


I swear to step out of this imagination


For it really happened to be an illusion


Men are all the same


They were all insane


I hate guys; I hate men


I think I’ll hate all of them


I never wanted to be like this


But what can I do, they hurt me with their deadly kiss


STILL WAITING


I’ve seen many people


And being with them is so cool


But why is it that I’m not happy?


I think its because you’re my only plea


I really love you, don’t you know?


All my heart and deep within my soul


Can’t you just give me a piece of your time?


So that my heart won’t die and my stars will shine


I need you and I can’t seem


For you’ve never been out of my mind and my heme


In my blood flows my deep feeling for you


Oh! Please dear, believe me coz it’s true


I know you’re too busy with your stuffs


But still these feelings won’t stop


Because the more you run the more I am craving


I just hope one day you’ll notice that I’m still waiting


NEVER ASK


Do we love with reasons?


Or we love differently like seasons?


Does it rain or shine?


Does it smile or twine?


How does a person suppose to love?


Give everything and act purely like a dove?


Do you have to cry out every pain?


Or take it as a challenge and always sustain?


Why to we seek for love?


Is it because it was said up above?


To love your enemies and neighbors


Even they can’t do you any favors


Reason alone could not explain love on it’s own


For reason is just a mere connotation


You really have to feel the pain yet do your task


And always love but never to ask…


THINK TWICE


All this time I thought he’s mine


Things I’ve figured out still intertwined


Ill guess they’ll just be mere events


Moments of my life a hard as cements


I thought they have given up


Yet in the end I found myself in a gap


Between them is a strong link


Connecting their heart and never lets it sink


Someday I know I’ll wake up


In this sleep where I am at


Maybe its time to be mature


Stop these baby talks and never be immature


Things in this world must be analyzed


Even those tiny details should be recognized


You’ll never know that it may give you trouble


That they can break your heart even if they’re to small…☹


MY PRINCE!!!


I saw this ordinary guy


I do like him and I can’t deny


He’s the prince I’ve been wishing from above


A prince I’ve been dreaming to love


He has cute little eyes


He is white and very nice


He is good-looking and so wise


He is not a pretender and says no lies


I knew him just in time


And I want him to be mine


Not as someone to be just a friend


But someone special than a friend


I don’t know how to start


All I know is I wanting him to chat


With me whom he is killing softly


With me who is loving him secretly


I know right time will come


That this boy will still be mine


I really wish he were the one from above


The one sent to give me such love


I’M TRULY LUCKY GOD IS WITH ME


In my life, it is so hard to be happy


I need to adjust and decide so wisely


I don’t know what should be done


Unless I am hurt and stand as I can


I can’t understand why I felt so alone


Where in fact I’ve got family and friends holding on


But still, why can’t I be happy?


Maybe because I still feel so unlucky


I know I should be happy now


But still I look for something and I don’t know how


I forced myself to smile and be joyful always


But I can’t really do and I can’t find right ways


I always hope and wish that God would not leave me


For I f that happens I’ll surely be completely unlucky


I know GOD is watching always over me


Letting me feel I’m loved and lucky


WEAK WITHOUT YOU


All of a sudden things have changed


I can’t believe they were rearranged


The colorful world has turned to gray


For you’re not here to love me and to stay


I don’t know what shall I do


Do I need to fight for you?


Should I let you go?


Please know I am hurt because you’ve left my boo


But what is this voice ringing back in my ears


It says,” stand and fight my dear,


Coz you are mine and that’s the least you can”


But I still can’t do coz I feel so damn


“How would I fight?” my heart uttered


I have no might for you are guarded


Without you near me, I’ll surely be gone


Coz I’m getting crazy for you’ll never be mine


I can’t really go on this way


But I don’t want you to go away


My strength and love will be sent back to you


For I’ll still be weak if I don’t have you


TOO MUCH PAIN


People say its rare to find two hearts beat as one


So I said I could find the perfect one


Someone who truly deserves my gift of love


Somebody sent up from above


But, would you still ask for love?


If the people around you made you feel you’re unloved


I can’t explain why for some it’s easy to judge a person


Where in truth nobody could tell things in its ways and reasons


Sometimes I don’t know if love truly exists


Maybe because they made me feel love is never worth living


That in this world, love was never special


Because everybody made me look like dull


How I wish everybody got the chance to feel his or her feelings


So that nobody would curse another being


Because if we’d feel how everybody feels even in a single day


I really sure; nobody would let pain cross their way


I’M HURT


Sometimes we think he’s the one


Who will wipe our tears and help us become


But who could say that even I cannot


The one I thought to be seems not


How sad it is to feel that he will never be


The boy I wished to make me happy


How hard it is to know that he’ll never be


The boy I thought will be forever in me


Every time I think of him


I can’t help but seem


I could not imagine how it will appear


Yet I really want it to be clear


I hope this love will never last


Fr if so, ill be surely dwelling in the past


In which this feelings will never be replaced


In my heart he will never be erased


PURELY FACTS


Why does pain exist?


Is pain something we couldn’t resist?


Is it something truly penetrating?


Or it is just something really worth crying?


I have loved and been loved


But why am I still unloved?


Fair is enough yet it’s still not


For it has been the hardest shot


When you love, you’ll get lost


When you laugh, you still cry


When you love, you’ll still be unloved


When you crave, you’ll still die


Keep going and hold on


Never be afraid of moving on


Maybe it will be too long


Yet I know it will make you strong


AN EYE TO REALIZE


Things are really unpredictable


They can happen thus leading you to trouble


They can be too small even your eyes can’t see


You’ll never know if you’re a victim to be


Your eyes were given for you to see


Things that must be foresee


Always come up with something true


For you’ll never be given any clue


They will strike you unconsciously


And there’s nothing you can do wisely


Because things had happened


Even you have not comprehend


Always make use of those tiny eyes


For surely it will help you decide wise


Never use it to judge but to analyze


For your eyes were give to help you realize


LIKE A CENT


The wind is swiftly blowing


Birds were constantly chirping


Every little thing is swiftly flowing


But why am I still crying?


I hated vanilla and the rain


Even that swirly bitz and every thing I’ve gained


He has given me too much pain


Where I caught my heart scratching his stain


I never knew that with him, I could be happy


Yet that happiness has faded urgently


I didn’t even recognize that I looked fool


Loving him made me cruel


I really hate him to an extent


But still he’s still a cent


Without a cent a peso would not be complete


Without him, my heart will still not beat


THE TEST OF FRIENDSHIP


I thought it was all over


Yet all things were recovered


We texted each other back


Oh! God it was such luck


When I decided to turn m back on him


Fate still leads as back again


This may not be good as before


But soon it will I am pretty sure


I feel contented with what we are now


Even this isn’t as happy as wedding vows


Through this, we could start back again


As soon as we be ease and forget those pain


I realized that we were challenged


Which hardly tested the friendship we’ve established


God did made a way between us


For he believed that we’ve got one-of-a-kind trust.


YOU’LL STILL BE SPECIAL


I tried my best to forget you


But I always caught myself stuck on you


I can’t help take a glimpse of you


For your smiles give me strength all day through


One day i said I am over you


But in a snap, I still look for you


You’re a strength giving me a power


And I can’t really admit that I have not recovered


I want to get you off my mind


But you’re really stuck and it’s getting hard


For all the pains you’ve caused me


It’s all nothing as long as you’re with me


Tears kept falling on and on


Still my heart keeps holding on


You’ll always be someone who will mean a lot


In my heart which you’ve torn apart


SHE WILL NEVER BE ME


She is the one who makes you happy


Who keeps you running even a thousand mile


She lets the sun shines on you


She will always be your only boo


She was the one who caused you too much pain


Yet you’re giving all to her even there’s nothing you could gain


She is the one who kept you alive


The one you needed to line and survive


She is the one who gave you confusion


Who left you with so much depression?


But why she’s still the one you’ve been wishing for?


The one you’re willing to die for


I know she’ll always be that special one


Who will always be in your heart and mind


I ‘m all crushed and down on knees


For SHE will never be ME.


JUST STAY


In you, I found strength and inspiration


Giving me light through all the season


You always let me feel so strong


Even loving you seems so wrong


I always felt you’ve never loved me


Yet you helped me become what I want to be


You don’t need to love me in return


Just stay and I will never mourn


I accepted the fact that you truly love her


Even she never showed you any care


I am always concerned with you


Even loving you made me so blue


I am not king for something


Just be here and that’s is a special thing


Even you’re just taking all for granted


I wouldn’t care because I am all contented.


THE 1ST WEDDING


It was the 6th day of October


I felt so nervous but I can’ utter


I’ll be marrying a man whom I never known


Though he’s my classmate and a friend over the phone


As I stepped in a church-like room


My heart beat fast as if it’ll boom


I saw my groom standing feeling so relax


He smiled at me as I took my bouquet in a box


All was settled and this must be true


Flowers were scattered all over crating such amazing view


It’s the time to start the wedding ceremony


All is waiting for us to marry


I walked down the aisle with such gay


Even I knew it was just a play


I felt it as if it was all true


For down in my heart he’s the man i used to call my boo.


UNRESONABLE BEING


We found ourselves quarreling again


I think it’s really a part within


We always do these things


We fight and we’re all right which is tiring


I don’t know if there’s something wrong


But we used to be like this so long


There are times that we really understand each other


But most of the time we really hurt each other


Is this the way we really should be?


It’s really annoying, can’t he see?


If we could not stay in this any longer


I guess we really have to hate each other


But, will hating each other give us a peaceful life?


I don’t know but we don’t have t spare the knife


I know I never did hate him


What I knew is, I just can’t understand his doings.


HE LET ME GO


I tried to let him miss me


I know it’s hard yet I pretend to be


I disobeyed all his rules


Even I know I got many to lose


I have doe everything just t please him


But till I appeared like nothing


Someone who isn’t worthy to be missed


Someone who isn’t lovely to be kissed


It really hurt me so much


And all these happened in a rush


I thought he’d cry if he loses me


Yet smiles all over his face and I really could see


I was so wrong to think that I am special


I was so ordinary so usual


You know what really hurts me more?!


It’s the fact that he just let me go.


TAKE YOUR CHOICE


You might think that I am happy


That I never felt so lonely


If that’s what you see in me


Then you’re not seeing my heart deeply


I may smile and laugh with them


That I always posses those sweet grins


But, don’t you know that I always cry?


That even my heart could not lie


Yes, know you did your part


But it is not stated that you should break my heart


I did adjust to your ways and desires


Even though it means blowing off my fire


I really didn’t want to let you go


Coz there’s so many things I wanted you to know


But if you really choose to take the other way


Then I really wouldn’t bother to make you stay.!


I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT


I know you’re such a strict person


You always equate things with your reasons


You do things according to your will


And nobody could tell how you truly feel


You always make me smile


But why did you made me cry?


You are not just a friend for me


Coz most of the time you are an enemy


You’ve never been fair in fighting


You always leave me hanging


Tears might be rolling down my cheeks


But I assure you, it’s still you I seek


How will I fight with you?


Even hating you still I can’t do


You always make me feel so low


And it will never be easy to let you go.


ONLY TIME CAN TELL


I saw him taking a glimpse of me


I felt so happy yet so lonely


I’m really missing his touch and miles


But I hardly remember I bid goodbye


I couldn’t resist but look at him


And everyday it is so hard to seem


I jut really miss his companion


And I wish that we’d still be friends even in phone


It really gets harder and harder everyday


I felt so sad and I am astray


I really want to talk to him


But I’m afraid maybe I’ll come out nothing


How I really want to be his friend again


And talk about nothing just to see his grin


But I know now that it is impossible


Foe he isn’t that kind and humble


SECOND CHANCE


Don’t you want us to be friends again?


Why were you acting so mean?


Am I appealing that rude to you?


That even talking to me you can’t do?


I didn’t mean coming out so mean


It’s just that I don’t want to seem


I want you to like me as I am


And not because of how I come


It’s easy for me to accept these things


Just hear my side and you’ll see


I do appreciate your efforts and fears


Just want to let you that I’m sincere


I am not being selfish here


I just want to be close to you dear


Just give me another chance


Because it’s hard to make another stolen glance






Honey Jane Carvajal is an incoming senior BSN student of General Santos Doctors Medical School Foundation Inc. and an active member of the Beta Nu Delta Nursing Society