Anthology of Poems by Honey Jane Carvajal, SN

Anthology of Poems

by Honey Jane Carvajal, SN


Have I done something wrong?

Why do these tears keep falling on?

Am I really crying with a reason?

Or I am just trying to fit into a lifetime season?

Why does happiness is so hard to have?

Where in fact, that’s the only thing I’m wishing up above

Why can’t I find somebody to love?

Is there really somebody sent from above?

How I wish I’d find him soon

In order to keep moving on

Why can’t it happen even for once?

Even just for a single dance

How I badly dreamed to be a candle

The more you kill me the more I become real

I’m hoping even for this wish; be it granted

For my heart doesn’t know where to go and now it’s dead…


If you’re not here with me

Flowers will wither and soon you’ll see

There’ll be no rainbow in the sky

There’ll be no enchanting lullabies

If I am not with you

I’ll be very weak; yeah it’s true

I can’t manage to eat nor drink

Anything I can’t do even to wink

If someday I’ll be with you

I’ll make it special coz everything I will do

Because that day will be no ordinary day

Though I know it will soon fade away

If soon you’ll be forever gone

And everything’s still left undone

Moon and stars will never shine

All I know you left me hanging in the line…


Days passed, I knew this wouldn’t last

I know someday I’ll get over the past

I have to move on with my life

Even I know it cuts me like a knife

I wont deny that he’s been so special

All throughout these days, he became ideal

The man whom I dreamt since then

The man who is willing to love me till end

But all those shine and spark faded

Maybe both of us became jaded

With things we usually do together

Even though we unconsciously hurt each other

Still, I would never regret those days

Because I truly liked him in his ways

Even people tried to pull him down

I’d still hold his hand and together we’ll frown

Even if things are getting worst right now

I’d still love to remember my vow

That goes…”I will love him till days are through

For I’ll be happier when I grow with you…”


I have encountered a high breed guy

Who was once snobbish and always sighs

I have not imagined him to be a part

Of this life which he torn apart

It was never a special day

When he and I met in the way

We utter each other our “hi”

And parted ways with ordinary goodbye

But I never expected that things would fall apart

Where he and I got to be at heart

We caught ourselves laughing with things

And together we spend the day in its brightest wings

We jointly smiled within a day

And mutually frown when we’re dismay

We spent much time together

Even it looked odd with the others

But now, he left me in confusion

Where I hardly caught myself in an illusion

And thru this we ignored each other’s nest

Yet I proudly say “I have no regrets.”


Everyday is so hard to take

People can’t stop being fake

I don’t know if I will last

But why did these appear so fast?

I can’t imagine myself struggling in such manner

I can’t believe I'm bound to suffer

How will I accept this painful fact?

Why is it really hard to act?

I can’t blame them if they really do

Such things that made me feel blue

All I know is, it must be true

Coz how would they judge without a clue

I hope this will be enough

As a payment for such an act

That someday this will pass

For I don’t know if I will last


Once I felt this thing called love

But unluckily got it in a wrong one

I don’t know how did it happen

It’s just that my heart suddenly gave in

I know this love is impossible

But still I am unflappable

Still waiting, dreaming and hoping

That someday you’ll notice my feeling

‘Til now I can’t really explain

Why did these exist?

Each day and night I kept on wondering

If you’ll be the perfect prince charming

I don’t know why I’m still falling

To you-so insensitive and irritating

I think I've not get over this feeling

Coz till now it’s your love that I’m craving


Ting. Ting. Ting…

Our hearts were strongly beating

The sound where even mutes would scream

A famous ring in our biochem

We caught ourselves like in an audition

We line ourselves in the alley of the institution

We got half lengthwise papers

Where we write all our answers

Ting. Ting. Ting…

There it strikes again

It left a scar in the eardrum

Even the pens for writing are getting dumb

I guess, as I leave the institution

This will surely not be an illusion

For this is a worthy, one-of-a-kind thing

Even for others it just goes Ting…Ting…Ting!!


There is this thing I am about to hide

Yet it seemed so difficult and I can’t decide

I don’t exactly know what is better

Should I continue or make things over?

Why does it feel so hard to love?

Maybe because he’s not sent from above

But why does my heart tell me that he is?

Yet this could not happen even thru a kiss

I want to convince my heart not to love him

Because it is hurting deep within

My mind is set to move on and look for another

Yet my heart doesn’t stop and it really hits me harder

I can’t believe I am so unlucky

Even I know I’ve got my friends and family

What is it that lacks in me?

Yes it’s he! The one who will love me?

Since I can’t get over this feeling

I wanted to settle this heart to everything

Even I know I’m not willing to forget him

But I’d still do just to stop my wondering…


Everyday in my life is so usual

But among these, there is one day special

Of all these days and ways

There s such an extraordinary grace

Tuesday is always of memories

Not simply because of that and this

It is for a reason that this day is unusual

For this can’t happen in universal

Not all people are happy in this day

But for me this will never be a day of dismay

For this day is such a wonderful day

Where I could smile and always be gay

For all those stormy days in my life

I always consider this day a happy life

Even in this day I found myself crazy in a bit

Still, I would never exchange my rare Tuesday habit


Each and everyone of us has its own

Styles & favorites that we have known

Everybody has it’s own likes and dislikes

But lets admit it we want everything nice

One day as I talked to him

I can’t imagine that he goes to gym

My mind smiled for such reason

That he wanted his body to be like horizon

It was fascinating to see

That he & I shared the same plea

To see God in personal

And make vanilla a flavor in universal

Still, nothing beats the similarities in us

And I feel how great it was

For now I know we share 2 things in common

That’s vanilla wafer and swirly bitz that we can’t refuse on.


I’ve been happy with him

All those days, I never seem

I expressed my feelings al the way

Yet I still can’t help but be dismay

Every time I look at him

He seems so cute yet so mean

He always wanted to be followed

And always wanted to set the mood

Even I have done everything

Still he acts as if it was nothing

I get hurt and pain always

For God’s sake he has done it in many ways

Now, my heart is very tired

Settling things up and taking his ride

I can’t exactly say if I can recover

But my mind says that it’s really over…☹


I cried so many times

For a love that has been lost

I loved a thousand times

Thinking for no more costs

I met several guys

All were nothing but heartbreaker

I thought they’re just wise

Yet they were all idiot undercover

I swear to step out of this imagination

For it really happened to be an illusion

Men are all the same

They were all insane

I hate guys; I hate men

I think I’ll hate all of them

I never wanted to be like this

But what can I do, they hurt me with their deadly kiss


I’ve seen many people

And being with them is so cool

But why is it that I’m not happy?

I think its because you’re my only plea

I really love you, don’t you know?

All my heart and deep within my soul

Can’t you just give me a piece of your time?

So that my heart won’t die and my stars will shine

I need you and I can’t seem

For you’ve never been out of my mind and my heme

In my blood flows my deep feeling for you

Oh! Please dear, believe me coz it’s true

I know you’re too busy with your stuffs

But still these feelings won’t stop

Because the more you run the more I am craving

I just hope one day you’ll notice that I’m still waiting


Do we love with reasons?

Or we love differently like seasons?

Does it rain or shine?

Does it smile or twine?

How does a person suppose to love?

Give everything and act purely like a dove?

Do you have to cry out every pain?

Or take it as a challenge and always sustain?

Why to we seek for love?

Is it because it was said up above?

To love your enemies and neighbors

Even they can’t do you any favors

Reason alone could not explain love on it’s own

For reason is just a mere connotation

You really have to feel the pain yet do your task

And always love but never to ask…


All this time I thought he’s mine

Things I’ve figured out still intertwined

Ill guess they’ll just be mere events

Moments of my life a hard as cements

I thought they have given up

Yet in the end I found myself in a gap

Between them is a strong link

Connecting their heart and never lets it sink

Someday I know I’ll wake up

In this sleep where I am at

Maybe its time to be mature

Stop these baby talks and never be immature

Things in this world must be analyzed

Even those tiny details should be recognized

You’ll never know that it may give you trouble

That they can break your heart even if they’re to small…☹


I saw this ordinary guy

I do like him and I can’t deny

He’s the prince I’ve been wishing from above

A prince I’ve been dreaming to love

He has cute little eyes

He is white and very nice

He is good-looking and so wise

He is not a pretender and says no lies

I knew him just in time

And I want him to be mine

Not as someone to be just a friend

But someone special than a friend

I don’t know how to start

All I know is I wanting him to chat

With me whom he is killing softly

With me who is loving him secretly

I know right time will come

That this boy will still be mine

I really wish he were the one from above

The one sent to give me such love


In my life, it is so hard to be happy

I need to adjust and decide so wisely

I don’t know what should be done

Unless I am hurt and stand as I can

I can’t understand why I felt so alone

Where in fact I’ve got family and friends holding on

But still, why can’t I be happy?

Maybe because I still feel so unlucky

I know I should be happy now

But still I look for something and I don’t know how

I forced myself to smile and be joyful always

But I can’t really do and I can’t find right ways

I always hope and wish that God would not leave me

For I f that happens I’ll surely be completely unlucky

I know GOD is watching always over me

Letting me feel I’m loved and lucky


All of a sudden things have changed

I can’t believe they were rearranged

The colorful world has turned to gray

For you’re not here to love me and to stay

I don’t know what shall I do

Do I need to fight for you?

Should I let you go?

Please know I am hurt because you’ve left my boo

But what is this voice ringing back in my ears

It says,” stand and fight my dear,

Coz you are mine and that’s the least you can”

But I still can’t do coz I feel so damn

“How would I fight?” my heart uttered

I have no might for you are guarded

Without you near me, I’ll surely be gone

Coz I’m getting crazy for you’ll never be mine

I can’t really go on this way

But I don’t want you to go away

My strength and love will be sent back to you

For I’ll still be weak if I don’t have you


People say its rare to find two hearts beat as one

So I said I could find the perfect one

Someone who truly deserves my gift of love

Somebody sent up from above

But, would you still ask for love?

If the people around you made you feel you’re unloved

I can’t explain why for some it’s easy to judge a person

Where in truth nobody could tell things in its ways and reasons

Sometimes I don’t know if love truly exists

Maybe because they made me feel love is never worth living

That in this world, love was never special

Because everybody made me look like dull

How I wish everybody got the chance to feel his or her feelings

So that nobody would curse another being

Because if we’d feel how everybody feels even in a single day

I really sure; nobody would let pain cross their way


Sometimes we think he’s the one

Who will wipe our tears and help us become

But who could say that even I cannot

The one I thought to be seems not

How sad it is to feel that he will never be

The boy I wished to make me happy

How hard it is to know that he’ll never be

The boy I thought will be forever in me

Every time I think of him

I can’t help but seem

I could not imagine how it will appear

Yet I really want it to be clear

I hope this love will never last

Fr if so, ill be surely dwelling in the past

In which this feelings will never be replaced

In my heart he will never be erased


Why does pain exist?

Is pain something we couldn’t resist?

Is it something truly penetrating?

Or it is just something really worth crying?

I have loved and been loved

But why am I still unloved?

Fair is enough yet it’s still not

For it has been the hardest shot

When you love, you’ll get lost

When you laugh, you still cry

When you love, you’ll still be unloved

When you crave, you’ll still die

Keep going and hold on

Never be afraid of moving on

Maybe it will be too long

Yet I know it will make you strong


Things are really unpredictable

They can happen thus leading you to trouble

They can be too small even your eyes can’t see

You’ll never know if you’re a victim to be

Your eyes were given for you to see

Things that must be foresee

Always come up with something true

For you’ll never be given any clue

They will strike you unconsciously

And there’s nothing you can do wisely

Because things had happened

Even you have not comprehend

Always make use of those tiny eyes

For surely it will help you decide wise

Never use it to judge but to analyze

For your eyes were give to help you realize


The wind is swiftly blowing

Birds were constantly chirping

Every little thing is swiftly flowing

But why am I still crying?

I hated vanilla and the rain

Even that swirly bitz and every thing I’ve gained

He has given me too much pain

Where I caught my heart scratching his stain

I never knew that with him, I could be happy

Yet that happiness has faded urgently

I didn’t even recognize that I looked fool

Loving him made me cruel

I really hate him to an extent

But still he’s still a cent

Without a cent a peso would not be complete

Without him, my heart will still not beat


I thought it was all over

Yet all things were recovered

We texted each other back

Oh! God it was such luck

When I decided to turn m back on him

Fate still leads as back again

This may not be good as before

But soon it will I am pretty sure

I feel contented with what we are now

Even this isn’t as happy as wedding vows

Through this, we could start back again

As soon as we be ease and forget those pain

I realized that we were challenged

Which hardly tested the friendship we’ve established

God did made a way between us

For he believed that we’ve got one-of-a-kind trust.


I tried my best to forget you

But I always caught myself stuck on you

I can’t help take a glimpse of you

For your smiles give me strength all day through

One day i said I am over you

But in a snap, I still look for you

You’re a strength giving me a power

And I can’t really admit that I have not recovered

I want to get you off my mind

But you’re really stuck and it’s getting hard

For all the pains you’ve caused me

It’s all nothing as long as you’re with me

Tears kept falling on and on

Still my heart keeps holding on

You’ll always be someone who will mean a lot

In my heart which you’ve torn apart


She is the one who makes you happy

Who keeps you running even a thousand mile

She lets the sun shines on you

She will always be your only boo

She was the one who caused you too much pain

Yet you’re giving all to her even there’s nothing you could gain

She is the one who kept you alive

The one you needed to line and survive

She is the one who gave you confusion

Who left you with so much depression?

But why she’s still the one you’ve been wishing for?

The one you’re willing to die for

I know she’ll always be that special one

Who will always be in your heart and mind

I ‘m all crushed and down on knees

For SHE will never be ME.


In you, I found strength and inspiration

Giving me light through all the season

You always let me feel so strong

Even loving you seems so wrong

I always felt you’ve never loved me

Yet you helped me become what I want to be

You don’t need to love me in return

Just stay and I will never mourn

I accepted the fact that you truly love her

Even she never showed you any care

I am always concerned with you

Even loving you made me so blue

I am not king for something

Just be here and that’s is a special thing

Even you’re just taking all for granted

I wouldn’t care because I am all contented.


It was the 6th day of October

I felt so nervous but I can’ utter

I’ll be marrying a man whom I never known

Though he’s my classmate and a friend over the phone

As I stepped in a church-like room

My heart beat fast as if it’ll boom

I saw my groom standing feeling so relax

He smiled at me as I took my bouquet in a box

All was settled and this must be true

Flowers were scattered all over crating such amazing view

It’s the time to start the wedding ceremony

All is waiting for us to marry

I walked down the aisle with such gay

Even I knew it was just a play

I felt it as if it was all true

For down in my heart he’s the man i used to call my boo.


We found ourselves quarreling again

I think it’s really a part within

We always do these things

We fight and we’re all right which is tiring

I don’t know if there’s something wrong

But we used to be like this so long

There are times that we really understand each other

But most of the time we really hurt each other

Is this the way we really should be?

It’s really annoying, can’t he see?

If we could not stay in this any longer

I guess we really have to hate each other

But, will hating each other give us a peaceful life?

I don’t know but we don’t have t spare the knife

I know I never did hate him

What I knew is, I just can’t understand his doings.


I tried to let him miss me

I know it’s hard yet I pretend to be

I disobeyed all his rules

Even I know I got many to lose

I have doe everything just t please him

But till I appeared like nothing

Someone who isn’t worthy to be missed

Someone who isn’t lovely to be kissed

It really hurt me so much

And all these happened in a rush

I thought he’d cry if he loses me

Yet smiles all over his face and I really could see

I was so wrong to think that I am special

I was so ordinary so usual

You know what really hurts me more?!

It’s the fact that he just let me go.


You might think that I am happy

That I never felt so lonely

If that’s what you see in me

Then you’re not seeing my heart deeply

I may smile and laugh with them

That I always posses those sweet grins

But, don’t you know that I always cry?

That even my heart could not lie

Yes, know you did your part

But it is not stated that you should break my heart

I did adjust to your ways and desires

Even though it means blowing off my fire

I really didn’t want to let you go

Coz there’s so many things I wanted you to know

But if you really choose to take the other way

Then I really wouldn’t bother to make you stay.!


I know you’re such a strict person

You always equate things with your reasons

You do things according to your will

And nobody could tell how you truly feel

You always make me smile

But why did you made me cry?

You are not just a friend for me

Coz most of the time you are an enemy

You’ve never been fair in fighting

You always leave me hanging

Tears might be rolling down my cheeks

But I assure you, it’s still you I seek

How will I fight with you?

Even hating you still I can’t do

You always make me feel so low

And it will never be easy to let you go.


I saw him taking a glimpse of me

I felt so happy yet so lonely

I’m really missing his touch and miles

But I hardly remember I bid goodbye

I couldn’t resist but look at him

And everyday it is so hard to seem

I jut really miss his companion

And I wish that we’d still be friends even in phone

It really gets harder and harder everyday

I felt so sad and I am astray

I really want to talk to him

But I’m afraid maybe I’ll come out nothing

How I really want to be his friend again

And talk about nothing just to see his grin

But I know now that it is impossible

Foe he isn’t that kind and humble


Don’t you want us to be friends again?

Why were you acting so mean?

Am I appealing that rude to you?

That even talking to me you can’t do?

I didn’t mean coming out so mean

It’s just that I don’t want to seem

I want you to like me as I am

And not because of how I come

It’s easy for me to accept these things

Just hear my side and you’ll see

I do appreciate your efforts and fears

Just want to let you that I’m sincere

I am not being selfish here

I just want to be close to you dear

Just give me another chance

Because it’s hard to make another stolen glance

Honey Jane Carvajal is an incoming senior BSN student of General Santos Doctors Medical School Foundation Inc. and an active member of the Beta Nu Delta Nursing Society